There is already a societal definition of beauty, and one thing is certain, it does not include extra flesh, making plus-size women ineligible to fit into this definition of beauty. And this exactly is what makes the societal definition of anything cow-dung.
See, the society has a very shallow representation of pretty much everything, like a good girl being a girl who does not talk back when she is being oppressed, and a strong man being a man who is bereft of emotions. So yes, the societal definition of anything is dumb and should not be paid attention to.
Sadly, no matter how many times we try to convince ourselves that societal constructs do not matter, we find ourselves subconsciously trying to fit into these definitions, no matter how difficult it is. Even if it means hiding our emotions when we are hurt, or skipping meals and becoming anorexic just to lose weight and fit into the profile of the cover-girl. And then when we cannot fit, we punish ourselves, even if it means taking drugs to feel better, or comfort eating to the point where you are bulimic.
Either way, every time we try to fit into this insane, shallow-minded, stupid idea of what society says is the standard, it never turns out well, so this time, we change our song and we say we no longer want to be part of the society, we want to be us, and they would either adjust or not.
The first step to being ‘you’ as a plus-sized woman is activating your inner lover, the one that was meant to love you and to do this, you are going to have to take care of yourself better. That simply means you need to know how to maintain and take care of your body.
How to maintain and take good care of your body.
- Have proper hygiene: Truth is, you are big, so you might have to spend long minutes in the bathroom cleaning up your body, wash properly and debunk the myth of fat women being dirty circulated by horrible people who should shut up more often.
- Do more needs than wants: You want a candy bar, your body needs a vegetable or a fruit, go for needs. Think of what you need and make efforts to getting them, let what you want, wait.
- Exercise: This is not for you to lose weight, it is for you to maintain a healthier lifestyle despite your size. Debunk the myth that says fat people are lazy and unfit. Slimness in some cases is not healthy, you could be slim and still cannot climb a staircase because you are tired. When you work out, you energize your day.
- Eat healthily: Again, this is not about your weight. Most deadly diseases humans encounter could have been dealt with, had they eaten a little healthier. Heart attack, stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney and liver failures can be caused by the intake of unhealthy foods. All these diseases are life-threatening, most healthy people are just a few burgers away from dialysis. Stop eating unhealthy foods and start eating healthy. More vegetables, more fruits, more whole grains in small portions.
- Sleep: Whatever you do, give yourself the sleep that your body needs, else you will be stressed and tired all day.
How to love yourself
- Filter what enters: A huge step at loving yourself as a plus-size is filtering what you take in. social media has evolved to the point where you can only see the things you want to see, the things that are you like. If you search for the same thing every time, the algorithms remember and they bring these same things your way whenever you log in. Search for people who inspire you, people with only beautiful words to say and nothing lesser, people who do not look for ways to bring others down. The moment you stick to these kinds of contents, your social media adjusts to this.
- Delete horrible comments and block the offenders: This would make you feel powerful, they should go chill in the block industry.
- Do housecleaning on your relationships: If all your friends do is a comment on your weight, cut them off.
- Dress as would make you look beautiful: Wear clothes that highlight your figures, avoid clothes that would make you look awkward when you walk inside a room.
- Say words of affirmation to yourself: “I am beautiful, strong and deserve only the best”, these are basic truths which need to be repeated.
You are plus-sized, not ugly. Nothing is wrong with you, and if you need to write these words on paper and place them on every corner of your house, then do that. But make sure you find ways to remind yourself that you are anything but what this despicable society says you are.
Love yourself enough for them to see that you are unbothered about whatever their thoughts and opinions are. Take yourself to the beach and rock that swimsuit under the glare of their envious eyes.
Society does not like a person who has accepted themselves and is defying all the odds. “Oh! How dare she step out in that outfit, how dare she!” But guess what, darling, you dared to do it. You are brave, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are big. All that awesomeness you spill out could not have been contained in a small body, only someone as big as you can hold in all that beauty and goodness and still has space for more.
On a much more lighter note, the women who end up on the cover of Forbes magazine do not need to be slim or fat or pretty or ugly, they just have to be rich and successful. Keep that in mind the next time some ill-mannered person whose parents skipped out on living properly tries to shame you with your size. You matter, they do not.